Ask Denny Strecker

Chris Lowrey asked:


Oh, to remember the days of young love… The twinge you were feeling when getting ready for your date. The anticipation of the kiss.  The emptiness when you were apart.  The giggles over their little habits.  The comfortable silence. 

 

Then the silence.

 

Of course your marriage evolved into a much more meaningful state. And, the dedication and loyalty that you have now doesn’t even compare.  The love has enriched and strengthened. 

 

There truly is no comparison.  Marital love is above and beyond more rewarding and comforting.  And, in a family, of course the kids come first, in most things you do.  But, wouldn’t it be nice to mix in some excitement as a couple?

 

The best parenting advice anyone can give or receive is:

 

Keep your marriage alive and well

 

The majority of parents recognize the need for “together” time.  Most even attempt at making the ‘night out without the kids’ a serious thought and often an attempted gesture.  A few absolutely commit to ‘alone’ time.  Does it always help?

 

Not necessarily.  A night out on the town with your significant other is important, no doubt.  But, too many times parents fall into the ‘okay, now what’ trap.  Out to dinner, you have caught up on the kids, shared the office gossip or complaints of the day, discussed the weather and soon run out of things to talk about.

 

Instead of a dinner date, once in awhile, plan an adventure.  Pick something one or both of you have thought of doing but never dedicated the time or money for.  Maybe you have always wanted to fly in a hot air balloon, rock climb, learn to ballroom dance, join a cooking class, take a ride on a dinner boat, go deep sea fishing or anything else that might suit your fancy.

 

The actual event is truly the least important aspect.  What really matters is that you both are planning and preparing together.  And, you are soon creating a memory and an additional connection.  Life can become very routine.  Don’t let your marriage. 

 

 

So, parenting tip 101:

 

Figure out something exciting to do.  Plan it together.  Do it together.  And, remember it together!  Keep the relationship fresh. 

 

The adventure does not need to cost a lot of money nor does it need to require a lot of time.  The actual adventure can be running through the park, without stopping.  That might mean jogging together around the block for several weeks in preparation.  It might also mean taking the kids to the Grandparents and biking that 30 mile trail you have longed to see outside of car windows. 

 

The whole idea is to put some excitement back into your lives.  Remember what it is what like to actually have fun together and enjoy each other’s company.  Laugh together. 

 

Your family unit may focus on the family at every free moment you have.  Your parenting style may not always have room for the married couple.  But, you must make time.

 

Families are all about love and commitment.  Isn’t that a great lesson to teach your children?  Making time for yourselves, as a couple, is truly a gift to your children.  They see their parents happy.  The household is happy.  What a blessing!



LAUREN

submit111@gmail.com asked:


Raising toddlers can be as difficult as raising teens. In these formative years, toddlers can be real tyrants. Oftentimes, this is where first conflict arises between kids and parents even before the stage of adolescence. Any toddler’s parent would do well with a nice parenting tip at this point.

Among other issues, eating habits of toddlers is one major concern of parents. Some toddlers are just so picky that their eating habits are a source of anxiety and frustration for some parents. At such an instance, parents will do well to apply a relevant parenting tip. One parenting tip in itself is to not assume that your kid will get over pickiness. Some kids don’t so parents should try to do something.

Be Patient

One parenting tip for parents of picky eaters is to be understanding of a toddler’s unique situation. The toddler stage is a time when kids first learn about things including food. They are still learning about taste and texture and some may simply just find something disagreeable. A related parenting tip is not to force your child. Pressure may translate to a life issue in the future.

Be a Model

Acting as the model is one indispensable parenting tip common to most child-rearing concerns. The rest of the family should be models too. Coming together as a family during meal time is a relevant parenting tip and one which you should attempt as often as possible. Make sure that your family dinner is full of healthy variety. Seeing you eat healthy food may encourage your toddler to do the same.

Stock on Healthy Food

A practical parenting tip is to not keep junk food and too many sweets at home. In relation to this is the parenting tip to keep good, healthy food in your storage bins and refrigerator. This way, when your toddler gets hungry, he’ll have to eat what’s around. Besides if your toddler has been eating your stock of healthy food from the very beginning because there is nothing else to eat, he may have gotten used to it already.

Be Creative

Parenting requires creativity, too. This includes being creative on the table. It is a suggested parenting tip to perhaps give unique cartooney names to dishes so that your toddler can relate to it. Another parenting tip is to be creative with recipes. Try mixing fruits with a favorite dessert or mixing yummy tastes with vegetables. One housewife for example recommends the parenting tip of mashing some vegetables like squash and potatoes and adding milk and a little salt and butter.

Don’t Be a Tyrant

Nobody wants to live with tyrants whether they are toddlers or parent-tyrants! Try giving them for example the chance to pick some food items for lunch. Ask them if they’d like peas, beans, carrots or corn. You can also cut down on deciding for yourself how much your toddler should eat. Put small portions on his plate and just ask him if he wants more.



ROGER

Debra Sale Wendler asked:


Your child has ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). He is impulsive, hyperactive, and temperamental because he does not have the frontal lobe ability to monitor his behavior. He has low self-esteem because he is constantly being corrected by adults for his inappropriate behavior.

He has ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) because he thinks he is never wrong. He does not trust or respect adults because he thinks he is smarter than they are. He is obnoxious, unhappy, rejected, and out of controlall the makings of a social outcast.

It has been said that a child with ADHD operates like a speeding car without the brakes. Remember this metaphor by heart. There are several ways to stop a car without brakes. It is your job to help your child find those ways unique to him so that he can slow down, pay attention, make informed choices, and learn.

Effect of ADHD on Your Child’s Future

Few parenting experts will tell you honestly how dim your child’s future will probably be without proper ADHD treatment. Some untreated adults with ADHD develop their own coping skills to make their disorders more manageable, for example, drinking eight cups of coffee a day. Most lead unhappy and unproductive lives, drifting through jobs and relationships with little success. Many adults with untreated ADHD also have drug and alcohol addiction problems.

An untreated child with ADHD, ten years old or younger, will often experiment with substance abuse to try to curb his emotional pain. If he is frequently out of control when he is 11 or 12, his parents might look into residential treatment facilities for treatment. When he is 15, his parents might give up and hope for the day he is old enough to leave home for good.

You Can Improve Child Behavior

Your child’s future depends on your decision to take an active role in helping him overcome ADHD and ODD.

A man who wants to do something will find a way; a man who doesn’t will find an excuse. Stephen Dolley, Jr.

Many experts will be quick to tell you the challenges of ADHD and ODD, but few offer specific parenting advice, thorough explanations, and practical solutions. Most parents of children with these challenges have at least 20 big problems that they need to solve immediately.

If you are ready to start on a constructive journey to solve your parenting problems and help your child, I invite you to use these parenting tips and join an elite group of parents who are on the same path.



DANA

Chris Lowrey asked:


Potty training can be a difficult experience for both parent and child.  When done correctly, it can be a moment in time that is looked at as a blessing.  The child feels like a ‘big kid’, the parent gets out of buying diapers!  But, when rushed, it can be a disaster. 

 

Therefore, before even considering the process, ask yourself these questions:

 

 

1.  Is this a relatively stress-free time in the family?

 

Look carefully at your current family situation.  Is there extra time?  Are activities at the lowest possible point in time?  No major changes coming soon?  Job stress low?  It is important to have the time and patience to successfully get through potty training with a smile on your face.  So, if you have big projects at work or the distant relative is coming to stay with you for awhile, now may not be the greatest of times to get started.  However, if everything is running smoothly, it may be the perfect time to begin.

 

2.  Is your child ready?

 

It use to be that a child was pushed to be potty trained at the age of one.  Those days are long gone, thank goodness.  By nature, a child starts to become interested around the age of two.  However, each child is different and the final decision as to when to try and use the potty is strictly between the parent and child. 

 

When a child is ready, they will start to show signs. 

 

Signs of readiness:

 

·                     Child wanting to wear ‘big kid’ underwear

 

·                     Keeping their diaper dry for 2 hours

 

·                     Having predictable bowel movements

 

·                     Telling you when they have to go

 

·                     Uncomfortable wearing diapers

 

·                     Able to pull their own pants up and down

 

If they show the above signs, it might just be time to give it a shot. 

 

Ready?

 

·                     Take your child to the store and let them pick out their own potty chair. 

 

·                     Encourage them to decorate it with stickers and drawings to make it feel more like their own. 

 

·                     Start by just letting them sit on it whenever they want, for whatever reason.  They may want to read a book while sitting on their potty; they may also want to use the potty with their diaper on.  Just sitting on it will help them be more comfortable.

 

·                     Make “potty time” a routine.  Set specific times your child sits on the potty for a few minutes, whether or not they actually use it doesn’t matter.

 

·                     At other then the designated times, if they show signs of need, rush them to the potty chair and reward them if they successfully used the chair.

 

·                     Try NOT to get mad when they have an accident.  This process takes time and practice and the children should be rewarded for successes.  Not punished for failures.

 

·                     When your child does a “poo-poo” in their diapers, help them take it to the potty chair.  That will quietly tell them where the “poo-poo” goes.

 

After several weeks of success, it may be time to ditch the diapers.  Make this a big event.  Let the child throw them away and let them know they are now a “big” boy or girl.  This is a moment to be celebrated and remember.  Maybe bake a cake and take pictures. 

 

If your child is still in need of night time cover, buy special pull-ups or night time trainers.  They look and feel more like underwear and your child will not feel like they failed at night due to accidents.  Don’t even call them diapers.  They are simply “Night Trainers.”  It is perfectly normal for the nights to take a little longer for the child to gain control over. 

 

This can be a long and difficult process, but it is a huge part of growing up.  Some children take longer than others.  Try not to worry and do not to let anyone comment on the length of training.  Keep in mind that this is equally as stressful for your child as it is for you. 

 

Children grow up so fast and unless unusual circumstances exist, there are no children walking down the aisle to graduate high school wearing diapers!  So, relax!  All things will come in time, including potty training.



ROLANDO