Ask Denny Strecker

Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE asked:




Most parents know the basic “5 B’s” of bedtime routines: bath, brush teeth, bathroom, books, and bed. To prevent bedtime struggles and delays, it is always helpful to offer choices about these basic steps. For example, children can choose whether to take a bath at night or in the morning, brush teeth before or after bathroom duties, and how many or which books to read. Our family, however, has invented many other fun (but not too physical) games that we’ve added to these basics. We don’t always have the time or inclination to do these games every night, but because we frequently make bedtime fun, our children don’t resist bedtime when we follow the basic formula. Here are just a few games we’ve made up:



“The Yes/No game,” invented by Dad (the logical one). This game is similar to “20 questions.” Someone thinks of an object. Each person takes a turn asking a question that has either a “yes” or “no” answer. Here are some examples: “Is it alive?” “Is it man-made?” “Is any part of it made of metal?” We’ve been amazed that children as young as three-years-old enjoy playing this game. It is also a great traveling game.





“Guess the feeling,” invented by Mom (the emotional one). Each person takes a turn acting out an emotion and the others guess what the person is feeling. More than once, our youngest child has guessed a feeling that stumped the rest of us. “Guess that animal,” invented by Amber (our youngest child, when she was five-years-old), is similar, except you get to act like an animal!

“Finish that story,” invented by Chris (our son, when he was nine-years-old). One person starts a story with “Once upon a time . . .” At some point they pass the story to the next person, who can continue the story however they want. Once, my husband finished a story about a little alien girl who landed in our living room and climbed under my son’s pillow. When the children looked under his pillow, sure enough, there was the little purple-haired alien doll!

“Hey! How did that get there?” Along the same lines, my husband would frequently hide in his pocket or shirt a toy that was left on the floor. Then he would tell a story that somehow brought the toy to life and described how the toy got into its hiding place. Curious, the children would search him, and find the toy that had hidden itself!

“Tell a story about us!” When my memories of family adventures began to fade, I started a journal to capture them on paper. I don’t make the time to write in it often, but now and then we read some of the stories and are transported back to all the joy and laughter of the moment. We’ve made up two family songs. One to the tune of the Addams Family and another to a rap beat. We name our cars and have funny stories about our old rust-bucket named Betsy.

“Guess the story,” invented by Amber. One person tells a familiar story without identifying the characters, such as a movie or family adventure. The rest of the family tries to guess who the story is about.

Forts and tents. Sometimes I wonder why we bought our children beds. They love to take blankets and make a fort to sleep in. We limit this special activity to weekends and get agreements to be quiet and go to sleep after the lights are off. I’m not worried about starting a bad habit, because I know that soon enough they will be too old to enjoy this. They will never, however, forget the close, special memories they built with these forts.

Back rubs and scratches. Until I was almost twelve-years-old, I had a very special bedtime routine. It started with a “Charlie the Tuna Fish” story from my father. I honestly believed he had invented Charlie, because he was an artist and had painted a picture of Charlie — which is framed and still hangs in my son’s room. Next, my mom would scratch my back or brush my hair while she sang a song. (My favorite was “All Through the Night.”)



So precious are my memories, that I have passed on the tradition of back rubs and scratching (through their clothes). My son, a dedicated soccer player, is often tired and sore after a game or practice. Not one to talk much, I’ve found that he often opens up about his day, while relaxing. Sometimes the children and I will take turns giving back (or foot) rubs to each other with scented lotion. My son now likes these massages so much, he starts massaging my shoulders when I’m dawdling at bedtime — to butter me up and motivate me to return the favor.

My daughter likes back scratches better. I draw letters, pictures, and do a little “X marks the spot” rhyme that gives her goosebumps. One of my parenting class graduates said her children never want her to stop, so she calls her finger a “magic pen” that eventually runs out of ink. This gives her a tangible time to stop, so the pen can fill up for the next night. Having a friendly countdown to lights off can also get children scurrying into their beds.

“Ask any question,” invented by Mom and enhanced by Dad. I started a 10 or 20-questions game with my children to help them open up during their back rubs and scratches. I will rub/scratch as long as they are still answering questions. Soon, they wanted to ask me the questions. Between us, we have inquired about everything form “What’s your favorite color?” to “Why do you think children try drugs for the first time?” My husband expanded this game to a round-robin of asking a question and the others do their best to give their opinion. One of the ground rules is that no one has all the answers. Questions have ranged from, “Who is God?” to “Why do we have ear wax?” Although I would have to say that my husband and children are quite imaginative, I am not. These activities do not take any special creativity to invent. Children are naturally playful. All we have to do is get the process started and the children take it from there. For many families, bedtime battles are routine. These games, however, can turn bedtime into a time for expressions of love, touch, and precious memories. Get your creative juices going and make some special games of your own.



Rachel

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW asked:


Considering a Parenting Coordinator?

Some separated or divorced parents continue to find themselves in ongoing disputes, even in view of separation agreements and parenting plans. The high-conflict nature of those disputes interferes with the well-being of the children and continually brings these parents to Court for resolution.

In view of the cost and cumbersome nature of utilizing Courts to resolve disputes, some parents opt for the services of a Parenting Coordinator.

Parenting Coordination is a mutually agreed upon service as usually is the actual service provider. In other words, parents choose to use this dispute resolution alternative and service provider. The service provider is empowered by the parents to hear their dispute and then depending on the nature of the service agreement, will provide guidance and/or mediation and/or arbitration to resolve it. In view of arbitration, the parents are bound by the Parenting Coordinator’s binding recommendation as if it were an order of the Court. Thus the parents in dispute have access to a more timely resolution service, often provided at lower cost.

Clinical experience and anecdotal information suggests a Parenting Coordinator is helpful in keeping parents in high conflict situations from continually reaching the courts. The efficacy of service depends both on matters originating with the parents being served and upon characteristics of the service provider.

Given that the Parenting Coordinator will be working with some of the most cantankerous situations, clinical wisdom suggests there may be underlying issues of abuse, domestic violence, power/control, mental health, drugs and alcohol affecting people involved in those situations. Hence the service provider must possess considerable training, knowledge and experience in these matters as well as management of people and situations thereby affected. Further, the service provider must be apprised and knowledgeable of issues related to child custody and access/visitation, child development, separation and divorce, and issues related to estrangement and alienation.

Given the personal issues underlying some of these parents who continually find themselves in such ongoing high conflict, there is also a propensity amongst some of them to turn their sights upon the service provider when matters do not resolve, as they would prefer. Thus the same behaviour directed between parents to each other, may be directed towards the service provider. Hence, apart from the considerable training, knowledge and experience a Parenting Coordinator must possess, of equal or greater importance is the ability of the Parenting Coordinator to withstand the intensity of the parents between themselves. The Parenting Coordinator must also be able to withstand either parent’s consternation and intensity if personally directed.

When considering a Parenting Coordinator, it is wise to then look for someone with considerable training, knowledge, experience and expertise as well as a considerable ability to handle emotional intensity, particularly when personally directed. Further, the Parenting Coordinator should provide a clear written agreement specifying the terms of service to thus hold all persons accountable to a set of processes for managing the issues of dispute as well as disputes that may arise, the result of the process or personal variables. The service providers must also be clear as to their own boundaries, fees, dispute resolution, complaints and termination of service.

Grey hair may also be an asset.



Gracie

Lyla Feldman asked:


If you are like me, you are most likely glued to the computer or TV right before bedtime.  Researchers and common sense tells us that this might not be the best way to give our minds a chance to unwind.  We often find ourselves thinking about our never ending to-do list or that project we have been putting off that was due last week.  It is important to take at least an hour before our heads hit the pillow to just relax. 

 

If you are a reader, choose a religious or self help book as opposed to a suspenseful murder mystery or a romance novel.  The goal is to unwind and to not think about negative or complicated things.  If possible, read a book based on the most boring subject matter you can imagine like a dictionary.  If you are a writer, perhaps journaling would be better for you to write down any thoughts you want to let go of before the day ends and another begins. 

 

If you are feeling very adventurous, try thinking positive thoughts in sets of three’s.  For example, you may think of 3 blessings of the day, 3 things you accomplished, and 3 things you would like to get done the following day.  Maybe you would rather think of happy moments and good times that happened in the past.  Try to picture yourself in that place and replay the whole scene in your head.  Take a few deep breaths and think of the ideal scene that you could see yourself in for an extended period of time. 

 

When my mind is racing late at night, pampering myself usually helps me to relax.  Whether I paint my nails, give myself a facial, or style my hair, I immediately feel more peaceful than before.  If you have a four legged furry friend, you could brush them and it will help both of you to unwind.  Just having a pet in your house is said to be very calming and soothing, almost therapeutic.  Unless, of course they are constant barkers then you are out of luck!  The bottom line is just to find something that rests your mind.

 



Leah

Deepti Singh asked:


Parenthood is a feeling of completeness. It is a thread woven of memories. Memories of happy and sad times, of pain and of joy. Parenthood is a continuous activity, it is a process in itself. Parenthood process is irreversible. We all take birth, grow up, grow old and finally find peace in God. This is a human life cycle, which cannot be altered, so is parenting process. Once a parent, is a parent forever. Parenting process helps evolve a person, as a child, as a parent and above all as a human being. Parenting process affects our personality, our attitude towards life over time and throughout the course of the life cycle.

The process of evolving in parenthood, becoming a parent is a gratifying and pleasing experience but also very demanding and nerve-racking. We would request and suggest that parenting process is the right time to greet and embrace the change of a lifetime.

Someone, very rightly said, it is tough to understand the parenting process unless you become a parent yourselves.

As a new member of parenting process, the new parent must understand the significance of a mother and a father in the life of your child. It is usually assumed that a mother plays most important role in parenting process. But, to completely neglect a fathers position in parenting process is not right. An affectionate, time devoting father, who participates in the child’s daily activities, help shape up the child’s personality in a manner which mother cannot do. This paternal element of closeness in parenting process helps develop the child emotionally as well as mentally. Parenting process, thus emphasizes that love of both the parents is a healthy and healing experience for the child. We would suggest that if the child is considered to be fruit of parenting process, mother and father are the roots of parenting process.

A very important understanding and learning of parenting process is that, as a parent you are always at the giving side of the relation. Parenting process states that you should not expect returns from your children. To give all your love and support to your child, is an eternal element of parenting process.

The other important key factor of parenting process is that the parent must learn a fact that children learn what they see. As a parent you must preach only what you proclaim, you yourselves know. Children are a mirror of what they see. So being a parent, as a learning of parenting process, parent must not introduce children to tension, confusion in life or any sort of harsh or fight behavior, at least through the family. Children replicate what they see, so mark your actions and words; this is the base of parenting process.

At the crux of parenting process, be positive in your attitude, and your child will follow. Be hopeful, full of energy and life, accept challenges, strive to achieve the perfection, this way the parenting process will help shape-up the personality and identity of your child.



Elizabeth

Francis Githinji asked:


Its finally here, you have to meet the parents. You have been dating for a long time and the next logical step to take is to meet her parents. The mere thought of meeting her parents scares you. This is because you do not know them and you do not know whether they will approve of her choice. Parents are naturally over protective and once you become a parent you will understand exactly what i mean. You however need not be scared. The girl’s parents are human beings who like any other parent in the world wants the best for their daughter. If she thinks you are the best thing in the world her parents are most probably going to feel the same.

Before you go to meet the parents ask your girlfriend questions concerning them. This is very important for imagine yourself going to see your girlfriends parents and you can barely say their name. You don’t even know where they work or do for a living. Not knowing your girlfriends parents name only translates to not having an interest in the girl. You could have asked your girlfriend what the name of her parents were sometime back. You could have forgotten and even if you haven’t forgotten, a little confirmation to make sure you still remember all the facts will not hurt. If you feel you have forgotten an important fact ask your girlfriend.

Keep time when you meet the parents when meeting the girls parents. Whether you are meeting them in a restaurant or their home its always good to be punctual. If you can not make it on time call and say you will be a little late. This will loose you some points with the parents but at least you called. Being late for a date makes you look bad and un serious about things. Parents want their daughters to have someone who is serious, focused and puts important things first. Meeting the parents at this point is the important thing. Dress appropriately for the occasion and have a firm handshake when saying hallo to them.

You should never meet the parents and forget to bring a gift with you. A well thought gift should do it. If you are not so sure about what to get, ask your girlfriend to help you out. Be confident with yourself when you meet the parents. People who are not confident always send out a message that they are not so sure about themselves. No parent would want to give their daughter to a man who is not sure about themselves. Keep the conversation flowing in a good way. If they ask you a question you think they are testing you out do not avoid it. Answer it in an intelligent manner, that way you will prove to the parent that you are a bright man. Try not to boost so much about your achievement, if you do, you will only push the parents away. You will be making them think you feel you are too good for their daughter. Finally, relax, they are just parents.



Audrey

Alvaro Castillo asked:


Co-parenting may not come naturally to you, particularly if you’re a high-conflict couple or you’re still recovering from the nastiness of a divorce. Divorced parents need to make a concerted effort to keep their conflicts with each other separate from their relationship as co-parents to their child.

Every year, 1 million U.S. kids become children of divorce. In settling child custody issues, their parents are likely to hammer out co-parenting agreements – committing to working together to raise their kids in spite of a divorce or separation. But co-parenting has its challenges. In the second part of our series of occasional articles on co-parenting, we look at how to make the transition from separated couple to parenting team.

Working together to help your child grow into a happy, confident and well-adjusted adult is something that all parents should aspire to. But it’s not something that comes easily to newly divorced or separated parents, or even to parents who were living apart in the first place.

It takes hard work to craft a “”co-parenting”" relationship that enables parents to cooperate in a way that benefits their child. As separated or divorced parents, you choose to live apart because you can’t see eye to eye on many things, and it’s unreasonable to expect that you’ll be able to immediately step away from all of that and become a cheery, friendly, co-parenting couple.

It can take months or years to forge a new relationship as parents together. But no matter how long it takes – or how difficult it is – finding a way to cooperate together as parents ultimately does pay off.

Keep your child uppermost in mind

Divorce or separation is devastating for children. It’s normal for them to experience anger, sadness, helplessness, fear and withdrawal.

8 cardinal rules of co-parenting

In order for co-parenting to succeed, there are some important rules that all co-parents should follow:

1. Do not use your child as a go-between.

2. Do not discuss your feelings about the other parent with your child.

3. Always remember that your child needs time with both of you to grow up healthy and happy.

4. If possible, never argue in front of your child.

5. Be flexible whenever possible.

6. Think of parenting time as benefiting your child, not you or the other parent.

7. Envision yourself and the other parent as a team.

8. If you are the residential parent, include the other parent as much as possible.

It is impossible for you as a parent to fully protect your child from the impact of the divorce. Your family has changed, and you have to expect that your child will need time to adjust. But the way that you and the other parent handle the change of a divorce, and the years following it, has a huge impact on the kind of experience it is for your child.

The purpose of your divorce was likely to end the fighting, to improve how you both feel, and to create happier lives for everyone. If you go through the divorce, only to continue arguing and fostering unpleasant feelings toward the other parent, you haven’t made a lot of improvements in your family’s life.

You can’t give your child proper support and attention if you and the other parent are always focused on what the other is doing wrong, or if you continue to dredge up bad feelings from your relationship as a couple.

Developing a new relationship that is low-conflict, pleasant on the surface, and routine will help your child relax and begin to feel more comfortable with the new arrangement. You will be able to focus more directly on your child’s needs. Your child will function better if she knows that there are two parents united behind her.

Learn how to think

Learning to co-parent means making a mental shift in the way you think about the other person. This is a person who has undoubtedly hurt you, let you down, insulted you, or worked against you in your relationship. It may seem like a tall order to set that aside and smilingly co-parent together.

You need to mentally compartmentalize your relationship with the other parent. In one room, put all of your feelings about him or her as your partner or spouse. All the hurt and anger from a divorce goes behind that door. You can go into that room whenever you need to, to work through those feelings.

In another room goes your relationship with this person as a parent. In this room, there is a table where you can sit and work together to create a good life for your child. On the walls are photos of your child in happy moments. This is the room you must place yourself in mentally when you are dealing with the other parent in a parenting situation.

This compartmentalizing is something you must commit to doing. It may be hard to sit in one room in your mind, while you know that the other room is next door. But you must direct your attention to cooperating and welcoming the other parent into your child’s life so your child can have the benefit of two parents who are reasonable, pleasant and accommodating to each other.



Hayden

marneta Viegas asked:


Getting children into the routine of early bedtimes for younger children, can be a nightmare for most parents. Here are some top tips to help you out

As bedtime approaches, prepare your child’s body for rest by turning the lights down a little, discouraging stimulating activities such as TV, computers and loud music.  You may like to burn some calming lavender.  Try to encourage your child to enjoy calming activities such as reading stories, jigsaws and colouring rather than rough and tumble play. You may like to practise some relaxation exercises or simple yoga stretches.  Establish a routine that your child becomes familiar with and knows he has to stick to no matter how much he resists – make a decision what time he goes to bed and stick to it.  Let the routine include a lavender bath, a milky drink/fruit picnic, brushing teeth, toilet, and a soothing bedtime story (you could try the beautiful Aladdin’s Magic Carpet by Relax Kids) and finishing off with a long cuddle and lots of reassuring words.  Try to let this routine be as calm and gentle as possible. If there is a deep resistance, have a chat with your child and find out what the underlying problem is – it maybe that she really has a fear of being alone, or is scared of the dark or feels lonely or feels that she is missing out. Talking about her fears and getting lots of attention, understanding and assurance from you will help immensely. Stay as patient as you can and keep the atmosphere as positive as possible – children who feel they have upset their parents as well as facing the night alone, find it even more difficult to relax and sleep. If you can make bedtime a magical time, let her choose her favourite story and cuddle her favourite teddy.  Sprinkle invisible fairy dust in the air or draw a circle of protection around them.  Allow time for children to blow away their worries and fears. A drop of lavender on a tissue near the pillow will help calm him down and be ready for a good nights sleep.  A night light will bring a touch of magic to the room as well as alleviating any fears of being alone in the dark. You may like to incorporate a little massage into their routine.  This will deepen their feeling of security and feeling loved and cherished.  Try stroking their face gently or softly circling the inside of their palm. After their cuddle and kiss goodnight, develop a mantra such as goodnight, goodnight or sleep tight hope the bed bugs don’t bite.  (for younger children). This mantra or repetitive saying will help your child settle. After saying goodnight, be gentle but firm that the time for playing is over and its time to go and play or have an adventure in dreamland. Make sure your child feels he has had your undivided attention and feels totally loved and safe. Dim the lights so she knows it really is time for bed – you may like to play some soft calming music or pop on a relaxation CD.  The Relax Kids CDs are being used by thousands of children throughout the UK and parents have found them invaluable for giving children a tranquil bedtime experience.

If you have a digital radio, you might like to tune into DAB Fun Radio at bedtime or www.funradiolive.com  At 1pm , every weekday, listen to a 4 min Relax Kids relaxation which is perfect for getting the children ready for dreamland.



Evan

Abhishek Agarwal asked:


Speculations on mono parents differ according each individual. A few explain it under the concept based on exposure and feeling. A few others brief it on the concept of logics.

Hypothesis on mono parents might cause agitation as it disturbs the ethics of an individual following Christianity. However, if we get to lend our ears to these speculations, a notion about mono parents will be fed to us, so as so spread it.

Certain speculations like the mono parents beating up their kid if he or she is wronged or frustrated are argumentative. A few support this hypothesis, while a few disagree with it.

People, who disagree with the hypothesis, insist that they ought to be penalized so as to put a full stop to such cruel actions. While, others who support it, argue that penalizing parents will frighten the kid and make him or her orphaned.

Speculations on mono parents differ as per the faith, practice and legacy of a society. Without knowledge, individuals puts forth hypothesis in accordance with their exposure in that subject, and it is eventually followed.

Raising a child needs no hypothetic views. They just require love, care and affection and support from the elders.

Hypotheses may be proved wrong. So it is suggested that such speculations should not let to be influenced in our living. The acceptable and good views can be followed. These hypotheses bring out a moral, which should be considered.

Various speculations on mono parents originated, so as to help them raise the kid in a better way.

Hypotheses on preaching mono parents to enhance the kid’s belief on the almighty, also exists, as it can provide us with a moral support and mental courage against the obstacles of life.

The speculations on mono parents mostly remain as argumentative issues. Mono parents, as matured individuals, ought to know what to follow and what not to follow from the various hypotheses put forth on them.

Hypothesis on mono parenthood exists since centuries ago. But still, it remains a hot subject till date.

Hypothesis on mono parenthood vary according to how they are singled, be it separation or widowhood or adoption or the spouse being imprisoned. As an illustration, a divorcee, should acquire, from the speculations, on how to overcome societal criticisms

These speculations present, help mono parents realize the variation of their role as a parent as compared to normal parents and also the right time to see another companion and have an affair.

Kids for parents, who have got divorced, generally tend to act mutinous, mainly when they enter their adulthood. The hypotheses put forth will help mono parents control the attitude and mannerisms of such children.

Mutinous kids are a personification of the touch me not plant. They are more possessive and seek for individual attention and are very stubborn in acquiring things. It is the duty of the mono parents to look through their emotions and activities and support them.

To err is human. Mono parents might have made errors on major issues. But they should leave aside their past and know their stand. They should learn from their past and be a living example to their kids. It is natural for kids to get inspired by the individuals they live with.

Mono parents must be cautious about how they approach the speculations and hoe they preach morals from it, to their kids. They must understand the kids’ needs and provide with more than enough love, care and affection.



Eric

Alvaro Castillo asked:


The most important learning for the child comes from his family. Parents are his first teachers. The child learns about his world and how to be a good person from the very day he is born. His sense of self comes from how his parents treat him and respond to him.

Child experts often advise parents to tune in to their children from an early age. Children’s self-esteem is nurtured early in life as they interact with their parents in a positive environment. When a child gets into trouble, parents often blame themselves for being too lenient or too strict with him. Some parents even blame the child for being naughty or disobedient.

The truth of the matter is, children are the products of either good parenting or bad parenting and not because their parents are good or bad. When we make mistakes with our children, often times, we are not aware of ways to manage our children correctly.

We can do a better job with our children when we understand the different stages of development. As children mature, parents need to manage their children’s behaviour differently. You cannot talk to your teenager as you did when he was six years old. Listen to what your child says and find ways to support his interests.

Communication plays a vital role in our daily interactions with family members. We need to understand what they hear and see, and be able to send messages in ways that they can understand and accept. Children need adults to guide them in choosing the right words to express themselves. Teaching by example is the most effective tool for parents.

Many have found that their words fall on deaf ears when they do not practise what they preach to their young ones. A mother of two school-going boys remarked that today’s teenagers are easily influenced by their peers. She feared for her children’s welfare. She wondered how she can protect her sons from negative influences.

Children tend to draw closer to their peers when their parents refuse to acknowledge them or listen to them. Their peers, on the other hand, make them feel accepted and loved. They never question them or belittle their ideas.

Self-esteem is how the person feels and thinks about himself. Feeling loved, valued, wanted and respected will make children feel good about who they are. Parents can create such an environment for them to grow up in. Once your children are confident, they can try new things and explore their world.

Parents must allow their children to make mistakes so that they can learn to cope and find out what they can do to succeed. Like a toddler learning to walk, he will fail many times before he achieves his goal. But once he manages to do what he sets out to do, he will experience an overwhelming sense of pride.

Many children feel unloved because they are scolded or punished frequently.

The foundation of their relationship with their parents is built on fear and violence. While parents consider their acts of punishments as a form of discipline, their children do not share this understanding. They cannot accept the fact that their parents inflict pain on them to teach them a lesson.

As children grow, parents must be prepared to allow them to take charge of their behaviour. When parents respect their children for their sense of independence, they will live up to parental expectations.

My five-year-old nephew once declared: “I have no freedom. My parents make me do everything.” He feels helpless when he is not allowed to do simple tasks for himself or decide what he wants to do or say.

In today’s competitive world, our children need to know that being different is acceptable. We do not want our children to be carbon-copies. They can have their own likes and dislikes. They should not feel the need to submit to societal pressure to look the same and talk the same way. Parents can show their children how to value different things that they learn from others.

We live in a multicultural society. Parents’ attitude can make a lot of difference in how their children regard other people and accept their ways. Bring the various cultures into your children’s lives through stories, songs and food. Hopefully, one day our children will grow into mature adults who do not discriminate against others



Mason

Louanne Baelde asked:


Because babies are initially in the warm uterus of the mother, newborns prefer smaller, cozy areas to sleep, such as bassinets.

During the first few weeks, newborns sleep at lot, mostly in between feedings.

If placing toys in a crib make sure that they are safe and child-proof. Never place battery operated toys in a crib, as they may leak toxic chemicals.

Do not use blankets to cover your baby, until she can roll both ways from front to back, or back to front. Using blankets too early on, can lead to your child suffocating.

A car ride can be a neat trick if the baby is colicky. Simply place your baby safely in the car seat and cautiously drive for a bit until the baby falls asleep. Gently place the baby back to sleep securely in the home crib, after you arrive back home.

Your baby will start to be awake more and require less sleep after a while, usually after about three months of age. Open the blind or curtain in the baby’s room in between naps to help your baby to differentiate between night and day. Talk or sing to your baby between nap times to try to stimulate her.

At night time, allow baby to relax by initiating peaceful times. Even at that young age, your baby is quite smart. She will gradually be able to recognize bedtime quickly enough.

Don’t play or talk with your baby, if she wakes up or cries during the night for feedings. This will be a hard pattern to break later on. After feeding, immediately place the baby back to sleep.

To lengthen bedtime hours, try speaking and singing to your child for longer periods of time during the day. By engaging her in longer periods of activity, you will stretch your child’s amount of sleep time.

Allow for few stimulants in your baby’s room. Just like adults sleep better with fewer disturbances, babies are even more sensitive to stimuli. Dim the lights around bedtime to help your baby to prepare for sleep. Don’t forget that your baby was inside of you for quite a while, hearing your heart beating. Assist your baby to adjust to this change more easily by trying to imitate some of the sounds inside the womb. You can do this by running a dryer or a fan. Relaxation tapes that imitate the ocean or rainfall are great substitutes and will save you money on electricity.

If you initiate a regular quiet time at night, your baby can adjust to a fairly constant bedtime. Babies and toddlers thrive on routine.

Sometimes a warm bath or a comfort object such as a soft blanket or favorite stuffed toy helps when Mom and Dad are out of the room. Please be sure that you select your sleep time items carefully, always keeping safety in mind.

Be sure to always adapt bed time rituals to your child’s age.

Also note that every child is different. Not all babies need the same amount of sleep. Try to familiarize yourself with how long your baby sleeps and note when she wakes up. Once you know your baby’s rhythm, it will be easier to establish a sleeping pattern and soon enough you will both be getting your sleep.

For a large data base of extremely helpful babies and toddlers information articles and tips, please visit http://BabiesandToddlers.YesFreeDownloads.com.



Jessica