Ask Denny Strecker

Gareth Williams asked:


During childhood, a good night’s sleep is one of the most important things that a child can have – in fact, childhood experts agree that young children typically need between nine to ten hours a night in order to encourage proper body and development function. Yet if your child has trouble sleeping through the night, this can often seem like an impossible goal; however, you’re not alone. Thanks to the popularity of stimulating technology in the home, like video games, computers and mp3 players, more and more children are finding it difficult to sleep through the night due to overstimulation. Add to the fact that many children are consuming diets full of sugar and carbs, and you have a recipe for a night full of tossing and turning!

Want to get your child to stop his or her sleepless nights and get the nine to ten hours that child experts recommend for ideal overall growth and health? Just follow these tips and your child will be off to dreamland in no time!

1. Limit the amount of time that your child spends in front of the computer or television set before bedtime. Just like with adults, children who spend the two hours up until their bedtime performing “overstimulating” activity can have difficulty falling asleep due to too much brain activity. Tell your child that there will be no video or computer games allowed before bedtime, and stick to this rule. You should notice a difference in your child’s sleeping patterns almost immediate.

2. Have a consistent bedtime, even on the weekends. A child’s body clock is a delicate thing, and can easily be disrupted if your child sleeps in too much on the weekends or goes to bed too late at night. Have your child go to bed and wake up at the same time everyday – if your child has exhibited particularly good behavior, award him or her by pushing back bedtime by an hour and a half; however don’t go any more than this, or you’ll disrupt your child’s body clock!

3. Have your child’s bedroom be used specifically for sleep only. If your child spends his or her time on the bed playing video or computer games, he or she will associate the bed with fun activities. Create an environment in the child’s bedroom that encourages sleep – for example, don’t have a computer in your child’s bedroom, avoid leaving bright lights on and keep the bedroom at a cool temperature. The goal is to have your child realize that going to bed is equated to falling asleep, so try to prevent other activities from being done in your child’s sleeping environment.

4. Avoid feeding your child a diet of mainly sugar and carbs. Sugar will cause your child to become hyperactive, which is especially detrimental towards getting a full night’s sleep. Carbs are still necessary for a child’s diet, but avoid feeding your son or daughter only carbs a few hours before bedtime, since this slowly burns off energy that will keep your child awake.

5. Get your child to exercise during the afternoon, as this will make his or her body tired just in time for bed. However, don’t exercise within a few hours of bedtime, or else your child will still be on an energy high!

Getting your child to sleep through the night doesn’t have to become a production. Just follow these simple tips for maximum effect, and your precious angel will soon be getting the nine to ten hours required for his or her healthy development.



Alexis

Roger Chaumont asked:


For some reason, many smokers become very accustomed to have one last cigarette each night just before going to bed. They feel that this nighttime cigarette relaxes them and helps them drift off. Then, when they decide to quit smoking, they find themselves tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep because they’ve become dependent on that bedtime smoking break.

This is dangerous for several reasons. First of all, everyone needs a good night’s sleep in order to function the next day. But more important, recent quitters especially need lots of sleep to help their bodies recover and repair from smoking damage. Finally, a stable sleeping pattern will help your body forget about that pre-bedtime cigarette.

Experts tell us that adults need 8 hours of good sleep to become fully functional. If you cannot manage eight hours, try to make it at least seven. Anything below that is not good for your body, and is going to take its toll at some time or other.

Similarly think about all those activities that are constantly going on in our bodies. Think of your heart that never stops pumping blood not even for a couple of seconds. Think of those lungs that help you breathe in and breathe out and the various other parts like your digestive system, your organs and your sense organs. Don’t these wonderful systems deserve some rest? They certainly do. And I have news for you.

Experts have found out that when the human body is in a state of sleep, all these functions slow down (they can’t stop of course) and get carried out at a much relaxed pace. This is the only rest that these parts of our bodies get. So don’t you think that it is highly unfair to deprive them of the rest that they really deserve? Often we use the brain or the muscles as a measuring stick. When these parts are tired we decide that we need to rest.

Herewith is some terrific advice for anyone who is suffering at night with visions of cigarettes dancing through their heads:

Eat dinner two hours before you go to bed. You’ll have trouble falling asleep on a full stomach, so be sure to finish your last meal of the day at least two hours before it’s time to go to bed. If you’re used to eating late in the evening, this may require changing your standard dinnertime a bit. But trust me, it’s worth it. Not only will this tip help you sleep better, but it’s actually a good way to lose weight, too!

Drink warm milk. When I was a kid, my grandmother always used to say that having a glass of warm milk would help me fall asleep. Turns out it wasn’t just an old wives’ tale! Milk actually has sedative properties, and warming it up increases them. Just remember to warm it slightly—don’t boil it!

Go to bed the same time every night. We are all creatures of habit, and our bodies fall into a routine. When you stay up late one night and then try to get to bed early the next, you will definitely find yourself having trouble. To avoid problems, set a bedtime, and stick to it.

Go to bed when you’re tired. Don’t sit in bed and then turn on the TV. Doing so will just re-stimulate your nerves and make you feel awake again. No wonder so many people with TVs in their bedroom having sleep problems! So when you’re ready for bed, turn off the lights, turn off the TV, pull up the blankets, and commit to getting some shut-eye.

Avoid sleeping pills. Pills can just get you into another cycle of substance addiction, and that’s something to be avoided at all costs. Instead, try natural sleep aids, like lavender essential oil or rose petals. Take a whiff while you’re in bed and you’ll start to feel your eyes droop! And if you stick to your bedtime routine as I’ve explained above, your body will soon fall into a natural sleep cycle that is better than anything pills could accomplish!

If you wake up and can’t go back to sleep:

Have a jar filled with dry rose petals by your bed. When you wake up, inhale the rose scent for minute or two. You’ll be back to sleep in no time at all!

But my strongest advice is to steer clear of sleeping pills of any kind. Let nature and your natural body cycles do the job for you. If you need external intervention, then realize that everything has been thrown haywire and you are not on a safe track.



Christian

Dr. Stephen Jones asked:


Educators have said active parent involvement raises a student’s academic performance.  Yet school districts have witnessed a steady decline in parent participation.  Gone are the days when a mother stayed at home to raise children and participate in school activities.  Parents are happy when they are not called to the school regarding their son/daughters behavior.  Something needs to be done to make parent involvement in K12 schools a high priority on their list of daily activities.

 

Parents need more information about how K12 education is changing.  Most parents are not aware of the financial challenges that school systems are facing.  Many schools are underfunded when compared to school districts within their own states.  Parents can play a role in encouraging their local legislators to get involved in changing their states school funding formula.

 

What the educators are saying about parent involvement is true.  Parents who read to their children early develop children who enjoy reading.  Children are like sponges absorbing new knowledge at a tremendous rate.  Today parents are too concerned about keeping their children entertained.  Parents are great role models for their children’s love for learning.  If the majority of the parent’s time is spent in front of the television then it becomes their child’s main source of information and learning.  A student’s enthusiasm for learning should begin in the home then spreads to a child’s school instruction.

 

Some governors are saying we need more standardized tests to resolve the student achievement gap.  Parent involvement is an alternative that costs fewer dollars to implement.  The resources that are allocated for testing could be spent to increase the number of parent leaders who are in the schools.  Some schools are finding ways to get parent’s involved in the daily activities of their schools.  Parents who are involved can learn about instruction methods that other parents can use in the home.  They are the catalyst to get parents who are not involved to volunteer for special projects.

 

Parents sometimes reflect on the bad experiences that they had when they were in K12 schools.  Student achievement can be raised when parents know that their active participation will make a difference in their child’s learning capacity.  Some parent’s are looking at their child’s achievement level to see if there are any differences.  They need to know more about the benefits of looking at the value of education from a different perspective.  Some parents do not know what a good education looks like.  School administrators and teachers must continually advocate for increased communication with parents.

 

Some parents are raising the bar on their expectations for their student.  They are often interested in identifying resources that will prepare their child for college.  They participate in after school and weekend programs right along with their child.  They sign up because of their belief that their program will serve us a link between high school and college.

 

 

The United States is steadily slipping in terms of its edge in graduating students from high schools, trade schools, and colleges.  Starting a national campaign to help parents to understand their role in student achievement is a solution whose time has come.  New and innovative organizations are needed.  These organizations must take into account the changing trends in family structures.  Parents are looking for solutions to the achievement gap.  The solution lays in a combination of community and K12 schools working toward alternative education activities which are easily implemented in the home.

 

 

 

 



Jaden

Abigail J. Chandler asked:


AN ARTICLE ON

WHAT IS AND WHAT IS NOT PROPER PARENTING

 

When you have a baby, the baby is indeed helpless you as the parent/parents need to do everything for that child, until he/she can start doing things on his/her own, walking, talking etc.

What some parents ought to know is that parenting is not just having a child and just knowing you are the mother or father and nothing doing what a real parent should be doing. In other words some parent thinks that letting the child/children have their own way without properly monitoring them they are going to gain that child. This kind of thinking is absolutely absurd and can lead into major difficulties for you and that child as he/she grows older.

Always remember that you are the parent and if the both parents are around that there should only be one man/woman in that house until that child reaches the full age of adulthood. Children are very smart I would say that as soon as a child is born their senses are well in tack as long as, it’s a normal child. In some cases it takes a longer time to develop in some people.

From the time a child get enough sense as small as they are when they do wrong we need to correct them. If it’s a baby or a toddler you deal with them according to their ages. You won’t slap a baby as if it’s a seven year old, but whatever measure you take to put that child in order let your message be sent across.

Never beat a child without letting them know what they are getting the whipping for. I must mention that there are other techniques other than using the rod. Punishments seems to work a lot, e.g. take away something they cherish very much, ground them or try talking  and see if it would resolve the situation .

As small as that child may be his/her brain already sends a message to let them know daddy/granny/aunty don’t correct me when I do such and such. If when that chid is around the mother knowing that when he does something out of the way, mummy would be very quick to correct, he/she would seldom do it around her.

Each parent little motto should be: Spare not the rod and spoil the child

When children are spoiled you breed what I’d call 100% brats. Some people thinks that it works that everything a child asks for you give them. You have to let your children know that everything in this world don’t come easily. If on the other hand you do vice versa that very same child that you think will love you very much for the manner in which you deal with him/her. It would back fire on you someday believe it or not, you would be embarrassed when you take them to town/city and you don’t have money to purchase that extra toy, etc.

I have seen it over and over where children literally starts to scream and bawl throw themselves on the ground yelling and kicking up, "I want that toy". Parents stand amazed in awe! Not knowing what to do to bring this child back to his/her composure.

As parents you all love your children and would do almost anything to keep them out of harms way; you sometimes would rather die in that child’s place. Although love compromises sometimes you ought to know your limit, and that is you are in charge. Don’t let that child rule you especially when they abide under your roof. Let them know their places and that you all weren’t delivered around the same time in the hospital, or changed diapers together. Children respond to what they see and hear, if you gave them their own way always that’s what they’ll want forever. If perhaps someday you don’t give them their own way, some will say all sought of demeaning things to you, might even kill you. So stop it right now get a back bone put away the wish bone be men and women in your homes.

If an egg is rotten and you still cook it, it will still be rotten when it’s finish cooking. Just the same with a child rotten once, then rotten for life. They may live to be 90 years and still want everyone to give them their way all the time.

Parents you ought to learn that LOVE is not being goody good all the time. You have to correct your children when they do wrong, spank them when they need it, there is a time for everything. Remember that chastening drives foolishness far away.

Most of you modern day parents I am almost 85% positive you weren’t brought up that way .Oh how we need those all fashion days. When you speak to your child and he or she speaks back to you rudely, don’t just sit there and let them go on. Turn back that curtain of memory and see what your parent would have done to you if  you had answered back, whatever you see and it did help you to stop being rude, then try it on your child as long as it isn’t violence.

Today when we look around children curse their parents, beat them, kill and some are now raping what have this world come to? Then just ask yourself why? Who? What?  How? and When? Most of the time the parents are to be blamed. Grow up a child in the way you want it to be and they shall never depart from it. If you do wrong things in front your child/ children, they wouldn’t have respect for you. Therefore if you try to correct them you would get back words that can make your heart want to give up.

 Some children get to hate you when they grow older and say to themselves if mummy and daddy had corrected me when I did wrong. I wouldn’t be in this situation today, all what you did to gain your child’s love when down the river.

As I am on this topic I must mention that the not beating children law United States of America have is totally intolerant. That’s why they do what they want, go and come when they feel like it, get involved in drugs, prostitution, lesbianism, homosexuality etc. A child needs someone to show them the right part and when a parent could hardly speak to their own child, before the child hit the parent or starts shouting at them and running to call the cops for everything.

When you hear or see these things going wrong etc.  Don’t let it tingle your toes and ears. Change those foolish laws and things may fall into its right perspective.

Children need to feel appreciate and loved by their parents and loved one. Always make time for your family, carry them out, and teach them to pray and learn manners, how to be grateful for what they have, show them how to do things, how to behave themselves at home and out.

Mothers you are your child/children  role model I only mean in the right way. When the father is away from home, you have to take up his role sometimes. Never let your children pressure you to the point where you say "you see you I can’t handle you". When you do that they would take advantage of you.

 Let them know that when your friends come over that it’s not their friends and they need to get lost. Not sticking around and poking their mouths and heads into big people business.

Also mothers if it’s possible where you can survive being a house wife. Try you best; I know it maybe hard depending on the society we live in where everybody wants to be independent. Think about it this way that giving up one thing for another and that is a well grounded child. That would always love and appreciate you.

For all your patience, love kindness and nurturing you gave to them. When they most needed it, and if ever a child needs you is from day one and especially when they reaches adolescence. Telling them about how to try and be prepared for the life ahead. Let your girls know about their monthlies etc. Where they are confused and don’t understand the changes they are going through. The taught that runs through their mind e.g. thinking about boys/girls whereas they never had time for that before.

That’s the time they need someone to reach out to them to let them know you went through it and they can make it to. Teach them about life and what it entails. They may want to ask you questions that you never expected they would.

If you don’t know or feels embarrass about it find a nice way in telling them. Don’t leave it up to them to find out, they could go asking the wrong person and there are lots of Sharks just waiting to devour their prey. Before you know it you child is gone.

Know who are your children’s friends, check out the places they go and what they do. Just don’t sit back and believe everything they tell you, e.g. they going to the mall and when you know wake up you realise that he/she has been going to the wrong places.

Another thing is that parents also need to know there limit. You have to learn that when children get older you can’t speak to them as if they are still small, e.g. If you have a 30 year old married son and you still want to send him on errands etc in a demanding approach. They may do it but look at you as taking away their manhood/womanhood and belittling them. A next e.g. is remembered as they get older they would start wanting to be independent; you have to give some slack.

 Trust them, that don’t mean you’d just stop being a parent. Never believe everything your child says, if you get a complain investigate. We were all born liars, so don’t put it far from them, don’t let the little angelic face fool you. Children do the most outrageous things behind their parents back. Then hide behind your sympathy and affection for them.

If you want respect show some to them, can’t treat them any how and expect them to respond to you nicely. Think about when you were there age how you were and then your thinking and understanding would change if it hasn’t, you should always try to be your children’s best friend.

Also when you are wrong acknowledge it and humble yourself, don’t feel that you are too big. We are all human beings so we’ll   make mistakes.

So parents grab a hold of yourselves and stop drifting, and we would have better children in this world. If you are not doing any of the right things I said above. Then you are not fit to be a parent.

 

Done by: Abigail Chandler

Date: March 19th, 2009 

From: Trinidad, West Indies

 

 

 



Kylie

David Riklan asked:


The saying, “other people’s children” usually brings to mind how misbehaving other people’s children can be. “Other children’s parents” is a new saying that refers to how other people parent their children. Parents all have different expectations of their children and allow different behaviors.

When children begin to have friends, there are times parents would rather their child not associate with a certain child. Some parents let their children run wild, whereas some parents are completely strict. Parents have to learn to accept how other children are raised and teach their children to continue to respect their limits.

One common mistake made by parents is thinking that their parenting techniques are the best parenting techniques. Frequently parents may want to allow another child to disobey his or her parents, because they don’t think that another child’s parents’ decision is right. For example, some parents don’t allow their children to drink soda or eat sugary items. Offering these items to this child will compromise his or her parents’ ability to hold their child accountable. When parents respect other parents’ rules and parenting techniques they not only show respect to the other parents, but they model respect for others to their children.

Children who are considered wild and unruly can be more difficult to deal with for a parent. Parents can not control another person’s child when there are bad decisions being made by the child or the child’s parents. For example, if a phone call keeps coming in at 10 pm, but the rules clearly state no phone calls can be received after 9 pm, the child calling can be asked not to call again after 9pm, but if it persists parenting becomes difficult. There are two options available then for the parents. The first is to call the other child’s parents and ask them to talk to their child. If that doesn’t work, the only recourse is to discuss the situation with their own child and help their child to understand why the behavior of the other child is not acceptable.

The Playhouse

Many times there is a particular house that all of the neighborhood kids enjoy spending time at. Some parents enjoy the company of all of the kids and some do not. There are some benefits to having neighborhood children at your house. One of these benefits is that you are able to keep an eye on your own children. Another is that you can get to know your children’’ friends well. Still another benefit is that your children will learn to enjoy your company and accept you being around their friends when they get older.

One of the drawbacks, though, to having so many children in your home is that there is often more mess. Your food bill may go up when more mouths eat snacks, there may not be a lot of down time in your home and you many not be able to get your children to help around the house as much.

Finding a balance of time with your children playing with their friends in your home and having downtime in your home can be very important. One option to keep that balance is to set up times their friends are allowed to come over. You can also discuss with the other parents a rotational cycle where all the children play at different houses on different days.

Food costs can be minimized by buying in bulk or buying inexpensive snacks such as popsicles or individual bags of chips. Another option is to let children create their own snack. Cool aid ice cubes or cookies from scratch are some fun items that can be made.

Being able to have the best of both worlds with your children at home and your children away from home is great. Discuss with other parents and find what works best for everyone.



Avery

Sudha Gupta asked:


We often don’t give importance to minor things thinking they won’t matter. But at times, some things look very minor but their outcome can be really powerful. Here are some of the efforts which can alter the equation between you and your child.

Pat your child when he loses: May it be failure in the class, or on the field, speak words of encouragement to your child .The trust and confidence in your relationship will go to another level. After all, words of encouragement during failure are more valuable than words of praise after success.

Give him importance, like a member of the family: Hang his painting

 in your room or in the office, when you call his friends ask him what should be the menu, take his opinion when you are buying stuff for the house et al. Your child’s self esteem will become so strong that he’ll surely be a winner throughout.

Share your own experience when your child makes a mistake: When you see your child lying or stealing, or fall to any temptations, share with him the mistakes you made in your life. He’ll know it is all right to make mistakes and that he can share with you anything.

Appreciate at least one quality in your child everyday: Each day look at what qualities your

 child possesses and appreciate him, may be for his caring attitude, his dance skills, or his observation power. Praise genuinely and do tell him exactly what and why you are appreciating. Tell him how proud you are of him because of those qualities. You may make small cards to show your appreciation or put up a chart where each star symbolizes appreciation.

Become his age before bedtime: Jump on the bed, have pillow fights, act silly, crack silly jokes, dance – become a child with your child for sometime. You’ll forget all your day’s stress.

 

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