Kitty S asked:
Is this too much to ask of my four older kids, 14, 11, 10, and 8:
Is this too much to ask of my four older kids, 14, 11, 10, and 8:
Make your bed and tidy your room
Clean up after yourself in the bathroom
Do a weekly cleaning job on Saturday, like vaccuum the house or dust the family room
Also, is it wrong to expect them to help clean up after their toddler brother?
They act like they are slaves!!
What kind of chores do your kids have? What consequences if they don’t complete them or make a huge fuss about completing them?
Adam
November 30th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Angel
Depends on the kid and the family situation. Take it from me listen to your parents. You get free coaching.
December 4th, 2009 at 4:46 am
Sydney
I would not make them clean up after there todler brother and I would let them keep there rooms the way they want (As long as they don’t leave food under the bed or anything like that)
And I would get rid of the saturday chores
I don’t think they should have chores for the sake of having them
December 7th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Madeline
Well I think that is not much at all. I have waaaay more than that. When I make a fuss or don’t do it my dad will put more chores or yell at me.
December 11th, 2009 at 1:22 am
Paige
Wow. That’s it. back in the day, we worked from sun up to sun down pickin’ cotton. and we got one, ONE 3 minute water break. and we all drank from the same bottle. Then we had to walk 32 miles home in the snow, uphill, and through a briar patch, and we couldn’t even afford shoes.
December 11th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Makayla
all you should have to do is cook the meals and watch tv.
December 11th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Kayla
Those chores are absolutely normal. However, if you’re having problems, why not try giving them rewards for doing it, instead of punishments if they don’t? They’ll be more willing to do the chore if they get a reward. It doesn’t have to be allowance, either. My mom did a cool thing with Candy in a jar when I was little. When we did a chore, we added a candy to the jar. If, by the end of th week, our jar was full, we would get like two bucks to go to the dollar store. Your fourteen-year-old is another story though. They should be expected to obey your rules, don’t back down on that. Good luck!
December 11th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Ella
HECK NO! That’s completely fine. My parents did that to me and my brothers and when my brother left off to university he was better off than most of the spoiled children who had no idea how to clean up after themselves, relying on their roommates who were equally as useless.
These life skills are important and it’s definitely a good idea. It’s really good helpful in the long run.
If you have time, teach them a little about cooking. My brother regrets not listening to my mother when she was cooking, all he can do is Ramen and take-out now that he’s in university. He came home and he said to my mother, Mom, why didn’t you teach me how to cook?
I had to clean the living room (sweep and Swiffer), my brother had to vacuum the stairwell and my other brother had to clean the kitchen and hallway (sweep and Swiffer). We also rotated washing the dishes each week and cleaning the bathroom every month (washing mirrors, cleaning toilet, etc.)
My parents get upset if we don’t complete these chores. They may sound like a lot, but they’re really not. It takes me less than 10 minutes to do my chores.
How do you expect your kids to survive when they get out on their own?
December 13th, 2009 at 2:52 am
Emily
Okay, so I’m 17. Making your bed and tidying your room they should be doing, that shouldn’t even be considered a chore.
Clean up after yourself in the bathroom is fine, they should be doing that anyways.
On Saturday, asking them to do one chore to contribute to the cleanliness of the house is totally respectable.
But cleaning up after their toddler brother? Not so much. That shouldn’t be their responsibility.
Say you wanna make them clean dishes, only make them clean theirs. Say you want them to vacuum, make them only vacuum their rooms. So this way, they cannot complain, because it is their mess. That is honestly the one thing I hate, is having to scrub other peoples crusty gross and dirty dishes.
If they make a fuss about cleaning after THEMSELVES then you should take away one of their privileges for awhile, and reward the children who do their chores without a fuss.
But if they are forced to clean up after their own messes, they are liable not to make such messes around the house
Good luck!
December 13th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Brooklyn
All are fine, kids should learn some self independence but do not expect them to help clean up after their toddler brother. That is your job.
While i was a kid, i basically had the same chores. Consequences for me would be no pocket money for that week, and or the loss of something such as access to a computer. However, if you are to use such methods do not take everything away, only one thing that your kid likes the most. If you deprive them of everything then you have successfully created hell for yourself.
December 16th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Katherine
No, I do not think there is any problem with kids having chores. I started when my son was two years old. I showed him how to pick up his toys. My nine year old has the same chores you listed. If your toddler son is able to do simple chores you could start there. If my son gives me a difficult time doing his chores I will not let him play his video games.
December 19th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Layla
That’s a reasonable list of chores. I don’t have assigned chores, but I help out as often as I can. I have three younger sisters, 3, 5, 7, and 8 months, and I take care of them. If they don’t do their chore take away computer or T.V.
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Elijah
Your requirements for your kids are fair and hardly slave labor.
They shouldn’t be required to clean up after the baby, he’s your responsibility. Also requiring siblings to clean up after a younger one only builds resentment. Better to encourage them to play with the baby for a little while each day, and that will give you time to cleanup after him and maybe relax a little. Also, amazingly enough kids who start taking in interest in their baby siblings, tend to automatically start cleaning up a bit after them. They really start caring about them and want to nurture just like they’ve seen their parents do.
I have a 17 and 12 year old. The 17 has fewer chores than her sibling because she has multiple learning disabilities but wants to take mainstream classes, so most of her afternoon is spent on homework. The younger one has minor chores during the week (feeding the pets, keeping her room tidy). On the weekends she loves to clean the bathroom with one of those electric toothbrushy looking things, and she likes watering the garden. She also likes putting away dishes and vacuuming. If she didn’t like any of that, I’d probably allow her not to do it, because I don’t ever want her to think her sister is favored.
When the kids were young, I’d encourage them to like chores by making them a game. There are still chores they hate, like cleaning up pet poo, but they’ll do whatever I ask of them because they see it as helping the family.
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:30 pm
Sophie
sounds like you didn’t have enough chores… that’s too many kids, couldn’t keep those legs crossed, could yah?
December 24th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Logan
I wouldn’t make them clean up after the toddler. You are Mom. That’s your job.
Other than that, I see no problems with the chores you have given them. Kids need to learn to be responsible. You’ve given them enough to teach them that without going overboard and making them your slaves.
December 25th, 2009 at 12:02 am
Brady
Well, it depends on if they get an allowance. If they don’t, that may be enough. (Definitely not too much!) But if they do get an allowance, they need WAY more chores than that! I’m 14, and here’s what I do:
-Walk/Pick up after my dog
-Clean up my room and make bed every day
-Clean up after self in bathroom, then do routine cleaning weekly.
-Vacuum at least once a week
-Wash dishes every other day
-Sweep every other day
-Feed dog and cat
-Clean cat’s litter box once a week
-Always do my homework, every night, no excuses.
-Use my own allowance to buy treats (Candy, magazines) for myself.
And I get paid $15 a week, if everything is done. I get $10 if two things aren’t done, nothing if three things aren’t done, I PAY if four things aren’t done, and I’m grounded for a week if over five things aren’t completed. This has been going on for four years, and I’ve never been grounded. We also have a sware jar, where we pay 50 cents if we use a swear word (More or less–depends on the word.) My mom works all day, so I do most things by myself. All she’s expected to do is love me, trust me, keep me well-fed, and put a roof over my head. And I love her for that. I feel independant, but not disconnected from her. And what do you mean by they act like slaves? If they are just slow and they look ticked, don’t worry about it. If they complain, you tell them that there are worse things that could happen. They’re grounded if they start yelling. And they should at least help with their little brother. They can brush his hair, brush his teeth, help him get dressed, and help clean up after he eats. You or the spouse can change his diapers (If he has them, if not, then help him on the potty.) and give him a bath. Good luck, and if you ever need advice, feel free to email me at any time. I hope I helped!
December 27th, 2009 at 1:02 am
Jackson
No my life started out like that except I was an only child, then by 13 I was cooking and doing all cleaning, I still hold a grudge against my parents for not letting me be a child! So I say put them in charge of keeping their rooms neat,HELPING you clean, and it’s not their fault you had another kid so don’t make them clean up after them- let them have a carefree childhood- that’s what it should be!
December 29th, 2009 at 7:50 am
Addison
I don’t think that it is too much. Cleaning their room and bathroom should just go along with keeping their personal spaces clean. In my opinion, it goes along with taking care of oneself. You would want to keep your rooms and bathrooms clean so that you don’t trip and cause uneccessary medical bills, or be unhygenic and have a germ party. I wouldn’t even consider calling those chores. I would explain these things to the kids like this- If you don’t clean your room and trip over dirty clothes and brake or sprain a bone, they would miss out on activities like sports or outings with friends. They need to also have pride with their space. Like would they really want their friends to see what color underwear they have or see they they live like pigs.
I would not ask them to clean up after the little guy unless you are busy or not feeling well. I do think that that may be a little unfair. And if you really need them to help out, I would offer some sort of compensation.
Now, with my boys, I developed a chore chart. They get a sticker for every chore that they do depending on the difficulty or length of time it takes to complete it. Each sticker stands for money or some other type of reward. They get really excited when they get to add up the stickers and get money for it. They tend to spend it on toys, computer games, food, and events. This is what works for us. The simple consequences are that they don’t get paid, thus no reward. Also, they only get a sticker when the job is completed and done to the best of their ability. Also they can loose stickers for complaining, being disrespectful, bad grades, and fighting. I hope this helps and best of luck!
January 1st, 2010 at 7:09 am
Carson
It’s not too much to ask at all. Making your bed, tidying up your room, and cleaning up after yourself in the bathroom are expected and shouldn’t be considered chores at all, honestly. A weekly cleaning job is fine too; my kids do it too. Many will say otherwise, but cleaning up after their toddler brother is fine too. I mean, honestly. It’s not going to be horrifyingly difficult. There are four of them and one of him. If they whine, they do a chore Saturday and Sunday.
January 3rd, 2010 at 6:49 pm
Cole
Hi Mom,
I agree children need to help out at home to keep up the home as a group effort. The one problem I see with loading them with too many chores is that their lives are usually full of studies and activities.
In my opinion their household chores should be at a minimum.
They need time for worship, school, sports, music, studies, sleeping, daydreaming, being with friends etc. it’s all part of growing up and learning as they go.
Keeping their rooms clean is number 1 chore in my book. Then helping clear the table and loading the dishwasher after meals if the timing is right for everyone. Once in a while it doesn’t hurt for them to help out with the toddler but not 50% or even 10% of the time. The older kids are not parents.
Make a calender in their rooms and each week have each child do 1 special chore that really helps the whole family in keeping the house or yard in good shape. Maybe the kitchen drawers need a good cleaning out. Whatever they do praise them for it even if they are not perfect it’s the effort they put forth.
Kids are kids they need to have lots of freedom to play, study to enjoy life and not be burdened down with household chores but to help out it’s not their responsibility to have these jobs to worry about when they have their homework to do. Keep their lives happy and healthy enjoy them now one day you will wish for these years to return. When you do your housework do it out of love for the family not like it’s such a pain to do for them and for yourself.
Life is so stressful these days that we all need to lighten up and do our best to show our family extra love and help them develop to be the best they can be. I’m not against giving them jobs to do but just not overload them.
One last thought if possible do things at the same time as a group it will be done quicker and everyone will feel such relief that the work is finished. Bake some cupcakes for that night to celebrate your family’s hard work!
Best wishes to you and your family,
Mama Jazzy Geri
January 6th, 2010 at 3:14 am
Sean
It is important that they help clean up after the younger one and also help him through the transitions of learning to do it himself. This is the natural course of life. In their turn they were taught and helped and they must participate in the teaching and help of those coming behind. Anyone who can’t see this is truly blind; it’s very basic. You start learning to be a good parent from childhood. Besides, the duties you describe are small and simple, but in a world of personal gratification where society wants to assume the right to run your children’s lives by it’s narcissistic values, it’s a constant fight to keep them on track with reality. Let them earn certain privileges by properly completing those chores; they must understand that life doesn’t happen while we sleep, we wake up and make it happen!
PS: Be careful what advice you take; some people’s ideas are more academic and experimental than experiential.
January 7th, 2010 at 9:59 am
Sofia
i think those chores are fine, however they should not be cleaning up after their brother, he is a toddler, so 2 or 3? he should be cleaning up his toys and helping with the chores, its not hard to get him to do small things around the house. kids need to be kids, they have a lot less chores than i had when i was a kid so i think its very fair, i only disagree with them cleaning up after their brother, that is not fair.
January 7th, 2010 at 8:23 pm
Julia
ok ….firstly the cleaning their own room ,and making sure they pick up after themselves is fine …they should be taught that sort of responsibility …..mine are 7 and 9 and do that …….the eating up [even a small part of their saturday]is kinda different ……its probably seeming mean to them as they’d prefer to hang with their friends and enjoy the weekend away from school and hassles …….as for the cleaning up after toddler ? how old is the toddler ?if its 2 i’d say start teaching that kid to pick up and pack up before getting out another toy [i did and we do at work --i work in childcare 0-2 yrs room]….it is unfair to say they should clean up the toddlers mess …..and change nappies or anything like that …..you had that kid not them ……not bagging you [sorry if i sounded blunt] but think about it from a teens view …did you have to do such things as a teen??
and as for my home ….as i said …my kids keep their rooms clean or no pocket money is given out for the week [that gives them windows of time to ensure its done ]….they clean up their pets messes and feed them [is the deal we made before getting the pets --i care for them when they go on hols with my ex or when they are very busy but they do most of the feeding and cleaning up]my daughter likes to vaccumm her own room ,so i allow her to if she wants to ,and she loves to cook so she is allowed to help with dinner ….my son has been bugging me to let him use the mower [he mows at my exs and gets money for it] so i let him [only the small backyard though]….and pay him $5 for doing so ….he likes saving money so he is often asking for simple jobs to do …..and if i have small ones i let him help me …..its ok to give them chores but just ensure they feel fair about why they have to do it ….as for giving my kids money …it is teaching them to be responsible ….if they want something ,it wont take much to earn it [as in real life ]
have a good one