linoch asked:
im usually a shy guy and im sick of being shy. i want to be more outgoing and be confident. So, im planning on developing a lot of new skills during summer. im planning on taking toastmasters club to improve on my public speaking skill, and take dancing, boxing, surfing, guitar, and singing class to develop a lot of new skills. Is this a good idea to gain confidence? do you guys think that i can gain more confidence by learning those new skills?
please no rude comments
Ethan
im usually a shy guy and im sick of being shy. i want to be more outgoing and be confident. So, im planning on developing a lot of new skills during summer. im planning on taking toastmasters club to improve on my public speaking skill, and take dancing, boxing, surfing, guitar, and singing class to develop a lot of new skills. Is this a good idea to gain confidence? do you guys think that i can gain more confidence by learning those new skills?
please no rude comments
Ethan
December 25th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Luke
Okay let me try to help you with my answer through what I’ve experienced, understood, and gained knowledge from. I will try to go through with you one by one in your question, please read on;
First off the root of being shy is fear.
When the mind is afraid then the body will get the message, so then your body will turn tensed and rigid.
Okay to start off with building self-confidence in yourself and to be around people see this;
We are all human and we ALL have good and bad qualities. There is no existing human that is perfect. We are all ordinary and equal. Our skin holds our flesh and bones together, we have a brain, heart, liver, lung, ears, nose, mouth. What makes us different from each other really? In reality we are all equal and the same.
Now when your in a fearful situation such as being around people, well I want you to imagine every negative or positive outcome that may happen to you when your in a fearful situation and just let it happen instead of preventing it. When you try to prevent these outcomes made up in your mind, you create a barrier of fear, which makes your body turn tensed and rigid. Think about this though has fear ever benefited you in your whole life? Or has it instead made your situation worse by making your body turn tensed and rigid?
You are human, you are certainly going to die in this lifetime and so is everyone else. So try to enjoy every moment you can living, instead of living in fear. You can possibly die next week, next month or maybe in the next 2 years.
Now you say you want to make friends right?
Well go and just talk to people! How?
You won’t know until you try
Don’t doubt, attempt, make mistakes, learn, move forward, live
You won’t know if a person you want to be friends with will be able to relate with you and would hang out with you until you yourself start talking to them in a friendly manner. Holding a decision is like making a delay, does it ever help? Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, humans make mistakes ALL the time, but what is important is that we recognize our mistake, learn from our mistake, and try to avoid doing it in the future.
Also if you want people to treat with well and with respect then you must also treat EVERYONE well and respectful.
Treat others how you want them to treat you
Whatever you do goes back to you
I am referring to karma.
If you treat a certain person badly, then you will get back the same treatment and it does not have to be from the same person you treated badly. So remember to treat everyone well ( that’s if you want the same treatment, which I’m sure you do). I’m not telling you to live your life at all, I’m just telling you the laws of karma, the laws of living.
**Okay this is for thinking negative which is the worst thing you can possibly do. Look I want you to realize that thinking negative has not ever helped you or anybody in your whole life. In reality thinking negative does not help at all. In the other hand thinking positive will help you to look good in situations, feel good, have a good positive attitude, where people want to be around you for.
Look I want you to remember this quote;
There are not negative things, just negative thinkers and There are not positive things, just positive thinkers. ( its a negative act when it is harmful such as killing, stealing, bad use of words, ect. you get the idea lol )
I’ll explain what the quote means; It means pretend I thought that a certain music band is good making music, which is a positive thought and then on the other hand there’s another person who thinks negatively of them and who thinks that they aren’t good. What I’m trying to say in reality there is no positive or negative things its all what ourselves judge things as. You can look at everything positive, and just set your mind to positive. Don’t let other peoples negative opinions and thoughts hold you back from looking at the positive things because people who are positive are people who will want to be your friend because look in reality who the heck wants to be friends with someone who is always negative? To be honest no I wouldn’t and I’m pretty sure you don’t either. While on the other hand having a buddy who stays positive and helps out is a friend that everyone wants to have.
December 27th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Dominic
if u get good at them yes…..you will gain self confidence
December 30th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Riley
First off let me commend you for your efforts to adopt new skills improving your confidence in the process.
That itself takes courage so I applaud you=]
Onto your query, well in a way your acquired new skills will be an added advantage. For one thing it helps to establish new friends acquaintances.
Good luck!